


The Outsiders

by a1y_puff



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: Allen is the lead singer, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, Kanda is the new hot member, Lavi did not sign up for this, Lavi is supposed to be the leader, M/M, and occasional keyboardist, bassist!Kanda, drummer!Lavi, he's also the guitarist, vocalist!Allen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-23
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2019-07-15 22:47:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16072958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1y_puff/pseuds/a1y_puff
Summary: “More than a thousand views already? In one week, man! I knew dragging Yuu into this would give us a boost!”As much as Allen didn’t want to admit it, Kanda was a great bassist and his style brought a refreshing color to their music. It even blended nicely with Allen’s unique, androgynous voice in a way he had never expected before.The pretty face was a nice bonus. Not that he would say it out loud.





	1. Not Just a Pretty Face

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, everyone!
> 
> Welcome to yet another multi-chapter fic I will try my best to finish! :D
> 
> This one won't be long, probably about 3 chapters or so. This was born out of an anonymous request in my tumblr for a _"band!AU fic where Allen is lead singer and also does the song writing and Kanda is just the disgruntled bass/guitar player Lavi (who is the drummer) forced to join."_ So thank you for your prompt, dear Anon! I made some tweaks here and there from the initial attempt on tumblr.
> 
> I always like writing these boys in different situations-their dynamics are always fun to explore! I hope you'd enjoy this one too while waiting for The Walk (which I will update soon, promise!). :)

 

## 01 | Not Just a Pretty Face

* * *

 

Sometimes, changes could bring good things. Allen wondered if this was one of those instants, as he stared at the numbers of viewers under the video they had just uploaded around last week. In such a short time, it managed to get quite the attention.

All because of the latest additional to their band.

“More than a thousand views already?” A low whistle sounded from his left and Allen turned his head to find Lavi stealing a look on his monitor. “In one week, man! I knew dragging Yuu into this would give us a boost!”

“Because of his girly face,” Allen muttered begrudgingly. As if to prove his point he scrolled down to the comments which mostly consisted of girls fawning over the new member of their band. It annoyed him for _some_ reason, even if he kind of had expected this.

Lavi laughed and patted his back none-too-gently. “Oh, c’mon, Al! You know he’s not just a pretty face! Don’t let him hear you say that, by the way.”

“I know.” Allen murmured under his breath. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, Kanda _was_ a great bassist and his style brought a refreshing color to their music. It even blended nicely with Allen’s voice and guitar in a way he had never expected before.

The pretty face was a nice bonus. Not that he would say it out loud.

It went without saying anyway. 

 

 

The Outsiders. Allen wasn’t quite sure what they had been thinking when he and Lavi came up with that name, but it had sounded cool at the time. It was just your typical high school band started by a group of friends who played just because they loved it. It had started as a hobby, they liked doing covers of famous songs—adding their own colors to the music. 

Of course, Lavi had been the one to initiate it, just because one day he found out that Allen was pretty good with the guitar. And the piano, actually, but Lavi claimed the guitar was enough to start their little band. Somehow, he convinced Allen that his singing voice was unique--kind of soft and androgynous, which quickly became their band’s trademark.

Originally, Allen and Lavi had their good friend Toma as the bassist, but just last month, barely one year after their band was formed and when it started getting noticed on YouTube, Toma had to move away for college. Allen had wondered if it would be the end of it--but Lavi didn’t want to let go of what little fame they had been gaining.

“I know a guy,” he’d claimed at the time. Then, he grinned and added, “actually, you know him too.”

“Who?”

When Lavi’s grin widened _just so,_ Allen couldn’t help but get a bad feeling about it.

His intuition was proven correct when, the next day, Lavi showed up with a grumpy, long-haired prick Allen hadn’t seen since said prick graduated high school along with Lavi and Toma.

“Ugh.” Allen didn’t even bother hiding his dislike. “It’s you.”

“Shut it, Sprout. It’s not like I _want_ to be here.”

“Now, now, please get along!” Lavi pulled them both into one-armed hugs with each arm. “Yuu, you’ve seen our videos. You know Allen’s not even half-bad. And Allen, you might not know this but Yuu’s ridiculously good with bass. Why not try jamming and build up some chemistry between you two--”

“Did you even agree to this?” Allen couldn’t help asking, because honestly? It was hard to believe that Kanda would even want to join them.

Okay, so Kanda and Lavi was close--been friends since junior high (or so Allen had heard), so it was probably not that weird Kanda was willing to help Lavi, but as Allen remembered, the first time they had formed The Outsiders, around the end of his first year, Lavi had offered the bassist position to Kanda and had been rejected on the spot. Something about it being _too troublesome_. Then again, they had been about to enter their senior year. Lavi was just simply too smart and Toma loved music too much. 

“I didn’t,” Kanda finally replied with snort after a rather awkward pause.

“I have his weakness!” Lavi announced merrily and barely dodged a punch from Kanda. He went on without a care, “Yuu owes me one for _that one time_ and I’m just askin’ him to repay it now.”

“Do I want to know--”

“ _No,_ ” Kanda barked through gritted teeth and walked away further into the basement-turned-studio where the guitar stand and the drum set were set up. “Now, are we playing or not? Don’t waste my time.”

Allen’s eyebrow twitched. This guy seriously acted so high and mighty! He wondered if it would really be worth it bringing him into the band.

“C’mon, Al,” Lavi persuaded gently. “Just give it a shot. Play anything and let ‘im follow your lead.”

Now, those white eyebrows rose in curiosity. “So, I don’t have to decide with him what to play--”

“Oi. I’m right here, morons. The hell you keep talking like I wasn’t?” Kanda asked bitingly as he took his bass out of the case and slung it over one shoulder. “Well? Come at me, _Bean Sprout_.”

“It’s _Allen_!” He corrected out of habit and rolled his eyes. Allen did as he was told, though, and went to grab his guitar, meeting Kanda’s challenging look with his own.

As he adjusted the strings, Allen wondered if this was really going to work. A band needed more than just skilled members, but also a good chemistry between them. Now if the members hated each other, how was that going to work?

Okay, so Allen had to admit he didn’t really hate Kanda. The guy was just impossible to get along with, unless you were Lavi, but.

Allen began strumming a melody--and it wasn’t any of the songs they had covered. It was actually a song he was writing in his free time that even Lavi didn’t know about yet. Allen decided if it wasn’t going to work, might as well make it clear from the beginning, right? If it was a song Kanda didn’t recognize, he doubted the guy could--

A soft, deep melody flowed along, creating a harmony with his own guitar that Allen hadn’t expected. Yes, it was a little awkward in places because Kanda didn't know this song but after one round of Allen playing, he seemed to have figured out the base keys and chords and played accordingly. But what surprised Allen most was--the melodious bass. It wasn’t like Toma’s whose sounds blended into the background, taking the role of a supporter. Kanda’s bass demanded attention with its continuous, rhythmic melody and _yet_ it could sync neatly with Allen’s guitar.

Kanda’s bass wasn’t a supporting role like Toma’s. His demanded equal attention without going overboard--like a duet.

Then, the drum joined them, and it was then that Allen noticed Lavi was already grinning behind it, effortlessly creating a beat that matched the mood of the song Allen hadn’t even introduced: not too soft but melancholic and soulful and--

Allen almost felt like crying.

They finished the song like they’d known it by heart, letting Allen close with the same melody he started it with. When Allen fell silent for a second too long, Kanda had to be the one to break it:

“What song was that?”

“Ah.” Allen’s right hand came up to sheepishly scratch the back of his head. “Just something I came up with--”

“Ooh, you’ve finally decided to do originals?” Lavi asked in excitement, which had Allen cringing a bit inwardly. Not that Allen could blame him. They’d been doing covers for a year now, even their long-time fans were starting to wonder if they’d ever do originals. And the reason they hadn’t—well.

Lavi had ears for music and creating just the right beat, but not poetic enough to write lyrics. And they had agreed since the beginning that if they would ever create their own song, it would be up to Allen—who even before this band was formed, had been composing small pieces here and there.

“No--not yet.” Allen finally replied with a nervous laugh. “I’ve just been toying with the melody a bit. It doesn’t even have lyrics--”

“Then write them.” Kanda pulled the sling of his bass off his shoulder, then looked straight into his eyes and added, “With the right treatment, that melody has potential. You’re actually decent enough with a guitar.”

“In Yuu-talk that means you’re awesome, Al!” Lavi grinned widely. “Enough to impress him, at least.”

“Tch. Shut up--”

“Thanks, I guess?” Allen cut him off and walked closer to Kanda, smiling widely to hide his warming cheeks and said, “You’re not half-bad yourself. I kind of like--”

“Yuu?”

“The sound of his bass! The way he plays--”

Lavi burst out laughing and walked up to them only to ruffle Allen’s hair and ignore the way Allen protested in favor of asking, “So he passed your test, right?”

“Well.” Allen cleared his throat. “He’s good, I’ll give him that.”

“Oi. Again, I’m _right here--_ ”

“Great! So _Yuu_ ,” Lavi sing-songed as he took a few steps to his self-proclaimed best friend, “You’ll join us, right?”

When those thin lips pulled into a self-satisfied smirk, Allen was starting to have doubts this was a good idea. Especially when Kanda looked at him with that smirk and said, “If Bean Sprout here asks me nicely, then maybe I’ll consider it.”

“Wh--” Allen wanted to say no. Say that they could find someone else if Kanda was going to be a dick, but at the same time?

He _knew_ Kanda was skilled. The way he played his bass was different than what he was used to hearing from even the popular bands and although he didn’t want to admit it, Allen might have fallen in love with the sound of Kanda’s bass. The deep, rhythmic notes that was surprisingly soft yet also powerful. It was almost like a jazz bass, with a sound of its own that is so full and rich, but not overpowering and it had worked to compliment his guitar--

He really wanted to know what it would sound like if he sang to it.

So, Allen swallowed his pride, looked up at Kanda with a determined look and said, “I’d like you to join us.”

Kanda raised one eyebrow as if to say _is that all?_

Allen took a deep breath and added, “ _Please_.”

The smirk on Kanda’s face grew wider and for the next two weeks Allen had to endure Kanda’s smugness every time they met up for practice.

But at the end of the day, Allen grudgingly admitted that it was worth it.

 

 

“I told you just hide my face or something. Isn’t it enough to show just my hands playing the bass?”

Allen tried not to jolt at the new voice, and when he turned his head, sure enough Kanda was walking towards them—still huddling in front of Lavi’s laptop playing their first cover video after Kanda officially joined.

They’d decided to do Lost Star because they wanted to do a really popular song to introduce Kanda with. So yes, perhaps it was also one of the reasons how this video garnered over 1,000 views within a week. Not to mention Allen played both the guitar and the piano (recorded separately) besides singing, so he had his fair share of attention, but.

Half the comments were about how hot Kanda was. Allen tried not to laugh at the tick in Kanda’s left eye as he leaned over to read them.

“Look at that, Yuu! Your face is a huge selling point—ouch, don’t hit me!” Lavi whined and scooted away from the murderous aura from his long-haired friend.

Kanda raked his hair with one hand and sighed. “I thought you wanted me here for my skill, not how I look--”

“Eh, I’d say your girly look is still a plus,” Allen finally said, barely managing to throw away his annoyance at those fawning comments. When he realized he was on the receiving end of Kanda’s Death GlareTM, Allen quickly placed both hands in front of his chest in a placating manner. “Ah, I mean. You know how sometimes visual stimulation is more effective?”

“What--”

“Personally, I don’t mind if more people get to know about us because of your pretty face—” Allen dodged a punch. “I mean. Sure, that may be why they get interested at first, but our music is what will make them stay and want more. Right?”

“Hear that, Yuu! Your face is a perfect marketing tool--”

Allen elbowed Lavi on the ribs, because saying that was just going to be counterproductive.

“Tch.” Kanda glared one last time at them both. “So, you’re going to sell my face. What do I get in return?”

“Fame?” Allen offered.

“Not interested. Try again.”

“Allen’s bod--OW! Al, stop elbowing me, will ya?”

“Then please stop speaking nonsense,” Allen hissed through his teeth while keeping his smile intact.

Kanda scoffed and called them idiots under his breath, before finally he said, “Let’s do your song.”

Allen blinked. “Uhm? But I don’t have any--”

“Weren’t you working on something? Write the lyrics, then we can work on the music.” Kanda’s tone left no room for argument--and he sounded so confident, too. Perhaps a little ambitious. “I want to do something original, not just covers.”

Perhaps Lavi sensed his hesitation, so he ruffled Allen’s hair and added, “But you can take it easy, yeah? In the meantime, let’s work on another cover, ‘kay? Didn’t you say you wanted to do Sweater Weather?”

Humming noncommittally, Allen finally smiled and nodded his head. “Yeah. Let’s do that first.”

“Is it just me, or are you not really interested in working on your own original songs?” Kanda raised an eyebrow. “You do know you can’t just do covers forever if you want to get anywhere—"

“I know that,” Allen replied perhaps more than a little defensive. “The songs just aren’t ready yet.” 

“Or maybe _you_ aren’t ready for them.”

“You would _know_ , wouldn’t you? After being in the band for, what, _a few weeks_?” Allen finally snapped. Kanda had always had that effect on him—why was it so easy for Kanda to rile him up like this? “If you’re so impatient then you’re more than welcome to write your own songs—”

“Hey, guys, easy there.” Lavi put an arm around Allen and reached out to pat Kanda’s shoulder. “No need to rush things, yeah?” He looked to Kanda here and smiled—and somehow that was enough to make Kanda’s mouth snap shut. “Since we now have a new formation, we should take our time building up our chemistry and all that, kay?”

Allen quieted down, and Kanda let out a huff but otherwise said nothing. At a glance, they might seem to end this almost-fight rather peacefully, but the atmosphere was even heavier than when Kanda and Allen would have their shouting match.

At least the three of them knew they still had a long way to become a solid band.

 

 

**-to be continued-**


	2. Send Me to Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe he really did need to get himself together and start working on some original songs. Okay, so it wasn’t like Allen hadn’t tried at all. In fact, he had a musical notebook where he had drafted some scores—notes and chords scribbled down for what would be his own songs, but a lot of them were not completed and some only had the riffs or random, disjointed melodies. He just didn’t have the confidence to show these to anyone yet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Just letting you know I haven't forgotten this story exist. :'D 
> 
> Sorry for the long wait. To make up for it, this chapter is almost twice the length of the first. I really liked how this turned out so I hope you will be enjoying it too! :)
> 
> As always, thanks to **Harmony283** for beta-reading it for me. :)  
>   
> 
> _Disclaimer: The picture used in this chapter is not mine and for illustration only._

## 02 | Send Me to Sleep

* * *

 

“Look at those views.” A low whistle escaped Lavi’s lips as he pointed at the laptop screen.

Once again, the two of them were huddled up at the couch in the studio at Allen’s basement, with a laptop in front of them. Their second cover after Kanda joined was also well-received, even if the song, Sweater Weather, was nowhere near as mainstream as Lost Star had been. Sure, the view count wasn’t as fast as their cover of Lost Star at one-week point, but it was still a lot faster compared to their older covers with Toma.

Allen scrolled down to the comments section and—yeah, okay. Not surprised to find tons of comments on how _hot_ Kanda looked while playing the bass, even when he was wearing some oversized sweater—just to be consistent with the song, even if it was definitely out of season. After all, it was _August_.

For the arrangement itself, now that they had a new bassist, Allen suggested to feature only a little bit of melody from the guitar and let it blend in the background to set the rhythm so they could highlight Lavi’s playful drum beats when combined with Kanda’s melodic bass. Allen had been pleasantly surprised at how they complimented each other so well, only to find out that even though Kanda had declined the invitation to join the band that first time in high school, he would still practice with Lavi occasionally—had actually been doing that even before Lavi dragged Allen and Toma to form a band. That would explain how Kanda got so good, though, because there was no way he could be at this level just by playing alone.

“Man, this came out for my birthday but half of the comments were talking about Yuu’s irresistible pheromones.” Lavi laughed in good humor, but Allen still felt kind of bad for him.

“Well, I guess we should have expected this… I mean we were the ones who said we’d use his face as a marketing tool. Who would expect him to exude such pheromones in front of the camera—”

“The fuck are you talking about?”

Allen nearly jumped but managed to keep himself in control. One glance at Lavi told him the redhead wasn’t even surprised, so Allen turned to see the newcomer, only to find Kanda frowning at them—or well. The laptop in front of them.

“You sure have a talent for sneaking up on people,” Allen said by way of greeting, to which  Kanda just snorted at.

“Not my fault you’re so unaware.”

“Eyy, nice to see you two get along so well!”

Kanda rolled his eyes and Allen simply turned back to the laptop and scrolled down for more comments. “Oh, hey at least half of them remembered to wish you a happy birthday, Lavi. And some of them even said they loved your drums in here.”

“Well, isn’t that great?” Lavi beamed and reached to his other side to grab Kanda’s wrist and pulled him down to sit on whatever space left in the couch. “This guy has a way of making my beats stand out!”

“Scoot over.” Kanda pushed against Lavi, which in turn had him almost squishing Allen against the armrest.

Allen made a protesting noise which was ignored, so he huffed and stood up instead. Maybe he could get them some drinks from the house. Though he paused when he saw Kanda reading the comments intently—only to look increasingly annoyed. Allen had only noticed it now but as much as Kanda was aware of how he looked, he sure hated getting comments about it.

“I’ll grab us some drinks. What do you want?”

“Soda for me and thanks, Al!”

“Green tea,” Kanda answered without looking away from the screen.

Allen didn’t expect a thank you from Kanda, but still rolled his eyes when he didn’t get one. Heck, he was even stocking up on canned green tea especially for _him_ ever since he joined, but—eh, whatever.

He didn’t even get to the steps that would lead to the door into his house when Kanda’s voice stopped him again: “Oh, look. A couple of these comments are asking if we’re ever gonna do an original.”

Allen only stopped for a moment, but didn’t look back at Kanda when he murmured under his breath, “We will.”

Then he unlocked the door and walked through it, ignoring the stares he could feel on his back.

 

 

Maybe he really did need to get himself together and start working on some original songs, Allen thought one summer afternoon.

Okay, so it wasn’t like he hadn’t tried at all. In fact, he had a musical notebook where he had drafted some scores—notes and chords scribbled down for what would be his own songs, but a lot of them were not completed and some only had the riffs or random, disjointed melodies. He just didn’t have the confidence to show these to anyone yet. It was easier to rearrange a popular song—he was confident enough because he knew he had good ears. But showing his own stuff was a bit… embarrassing.

Then there were the lyrics. Again, many of them weren’t even enough to form a full song, and he kept thinking his lyrics were way too melancholic, and letting other people listen to that would feel like baring himself naked. Those words came from his deepest thoughts and memories. His wishes and desires. It was kind of scary to let other people see those.

He looked up at the ceiling from where he was lounging on the sofa and let out a long sigh. They were supposed to practice this afternoon in about an hour. Here, in the studio Allen had built in the basement of his house. Having a guardian who was barely home sure was convenient. Not that he thought Cross would mind. The door connecting the basement into the house was only used by Allen, since there was another door that could be accessed from the front yard. Allen had given the spare keys of that door to Lavi and recently, Kanda, so they could come anytime without him having to run and get the door for them.

Glancing once more to his notebook, Allen reread the lyrics he had been tweaking to fit the melody written in the musical notes above them:

 

_In this dark, damned world_

_I saw a light. it’s where you’re at_

_Standing still, calling out_

_But still I can’t reach you_

 

_The ground under my feet is crumbling_

_The world I’ve always known is fading_

_My reality is turning upside down_

_Before my eyes, your smile is gone_

 

_Send me to sleep_

_With your gentle lullaby_

_Of wishes and prayers_

_Before they turn to ashes_

Allen groaned and put away the notebook before turning to his side, closing his eyes. He wondered if that kind of lyrics would even sell. Most popular songs these days usually talked about love stories or heartbreak. Not really something like—like this.

This song, among other drafts he had so far, was the strongest and the only one that would be ready for producing. He had a solid melody and lyrics, and just the basic chords to work with. Heck, he’d used this that one time to ‘audition’ Kanda for the band, though neither Kanda nor Lavi knew what this song was. But it had worked pretty well. And yet he was so reluctant to use it.

Was it his lack of confidence that prevented Allen from working on this song? Or was it the fear of letting other people see his feelings?

Or maybe because it was a song for someone he could never see again.

 _Mana_.

His left arm throbbed a little at the memory of the fire, though he knew it was only phantom pain. He took a deep breath and lifted that arm, rolling the shoulder and bending the elbow to test the movements. It had been years since the fire and his arm had healed. It was just a little red in some areas, and some parts of the skin appeared raised or thickened and webbed, but nothing a long-sleeved shirt couldn’t hide. The worst of it was probably on his upper arm, near the shoulder, but it had healed enough for him to be able to hold a guitar and play. Just sometimes, the scars would ache, perhaps more from the memory rather than the actual pain.

There was a sound of a key turning, quickly followed by the sound of the door creaking open and Allen immediately snapped his notebook close and hid it under the stack of magazines on the table. Not a second later, Lavi’s loud hello resounded in the room as he and Kanda were trekking down the steps from the front door, and then they were by the couch.

“Hey,” Allen greeted, and just for the sake of having something to talk about to mask his nervousness, he asked, “You two were together?”

“Well, Yuu was rather free today so I asked him to pick me up at my gramps’ shop for a free coffee!”

“Oh, right. I haven’t been there in a while,” Allen murmured, remembering the antique bookstore-slash-library that also doubled as a cafe. It was a nice, quiet place to work or for people-watching. “Maybe I should go one of these days. I miss the caramel latte, and it’s a good place to find some inspiration.”

“Hmm… yeah, you should.” Kanda eyed him contemplatively, then added, “Then maybe you’ll finally get to write the lyrics.”

Allen’s eyebrow twitched again, but this time not so much out of annoyance. After all, he _did_ have the lyrics. He just didn’t have the confidence to show them.

“Now, now, Yuu. Let ‘im go at his pace, yeah? You can’t force this kind of thing or it’ll backfire.” Lavi gave Kanda’s shoulder a friendly yet firm pat and turned to Allen with a reassuring smile. “Now why don’t we just work on the music? The music!”

“Good idea,” Allen happily welcomed the suggestion if only to give them something else to focus on. The ache on his arm had subsided to a dull throb, so it shouldn’t be a problem for playing some music.

Except, he was apparently kind of cradling his left arm, and this did not go unnoticed by someone as perceptive as Lavi and, to his surprise, Kanda. Great, now they both were staring at his arm.

“Is it hurting again, Al?” Lavi asked gently and took a seat beside Allen to peer curiously at his arm.

“No—I mean. It doesn’t hurt much, just. You know. It’s fine—”

“Pull up your sleeve.” That was Kanda, and suddenly he was kneeling in front of him. When Allen didn’t respond and just stared at him, Kanda looked up with a frown and demanded, “Well?”

Allen wanted to say that his arm really was fine, that even the dull throb would be gone soon, but he could tell just by the look in Kanda’s eyes that he wasn’t going to take a no for an answer, so maybe it was better and faster to not argue and just did what Kanda asked.

It wasn’t like Kanda hadn’t seen his scarred arm before.

His mind inadvertently flew back to the first time Kanda had seen his left arm during their high school days, nearly two years ago. Kanda had been a teacher’s aid when Allen’s class had P.E., and it just so happened that Allen had somehow strained his left arm to the point it was actually hurting.

Because Kanda knew basic first aid, the coach asked him to check on Allen’s arm and see if he needed to be taken to the infirmary. So, Kanda pulled Allen away to the bleachers and, much like right now, demanded him to pull back his long-sleeved shirt.

 _“Why the hell are you even wearing long sleeves in this weather,”_ he had asked back then, and when Allen neither reply nor move to pull back the sleeve, Kanda took it upon himself to do just that and pushed the sleeve up before Allen could even stop him.

For a moment, Kanda had stared, and Allen hated that—he wanted to just pull his sleeve back down. He liked to think that his arm wasn’t that bad, all things considering, but he had always hated how people would stare at it—either in pity, morbid curiosity, or sometimes disgust. But then Kanda was looking up at him and the only question he’d asked was, _“Where does it hurt?”_

There had been nothing in his voice that showed surprise or disgust—Kanda’s tone was as no nonsense as always, and somehow it eased something in Allen’s stomach. So Allen pointed along his forearm, which Kanda then examined further, pressing gently with his fingers to feel any knotted muscles and rubbing them away when he did find them.

Kanda had never said anything about his ugly left arm, and he treated it just like any other _normal_ limb.

Looking back now, perhaps it had been the point where Allen started to see Kanda in a different light, and although they still didn’t get along that well during Kanda’s remaining time in high school, Allen had grown to at least respect the guy a little.

The very same guy who was now kneeling in front of him and lightly massaging his arm, much like he’d done for Allen almost two years ago.

“Better?” Kanda looked up at Allen and cutting his train of thought off.

For some reason, remembering that day, which was almost parallel to what Kanda was doing now, made Allen kind of get flustered, so he simply nodded and hummed, “Thanks.”

“Yuu’s good at things like this, eh?” Lavi grinned and pat Allen’s head gently, then pushed himself up and off the couch. “So, you’re still up for some music, Al?”

“Of course.” Allen let out a small smile to both Lavi and Kanda. “Let’s get started.”

 

 

The last band practice had pretty much established the general tempo and atmosphere of their new song, and it was almost frustrating how only the lyrics weren’t ready. Kanda wondered if Allen really didn’t have anything yet, or if it was incomplete—or maybe he wasn’t happy with what he had and that was why he was hesitating to show them? But really, if that was the case, stupid Bean Sprout could have asked them for feedback, and maybe they could work on it together. After all, wasn’t that the point of being in a band? So they could make music together?

“Y’know, you’re surprisingly enthusiastic,” Lavi told him with a grin. It was annoying how his expression was so smug like he had known Kanda would like being in a band. Actually, even Kanda was surprised at himself.

“Tch. It’s not that.” Kanda huffed and took the mug of coffee from Lavi’s hand. He inhaled the aroma before taking a small sip. It tasted as rich and crisp as he had always liked it. Then again if Lavi couldn’t make his coffee right by now, he’d have _words_. “Like I said, I don’t do things half-assed. Since I’m here now anyway, I want to be making our own music.”

“Because you surprisingly like the music Allen makes?” Lavi raised an eyebrow, and if the stupid rabbit wasn’t behind the cafe’s counter right now, Kanda would have hit his head or something. Perhaps he somehow sensed it because Lavi moved to the nearby sink to wash the used cups. “I know you listened to our stuff when Toma was still around.”

“Because _you_ kept showing me those.” Kanda rolled his eyes and took another sip of his coffee. “I got used to hearing his arrangements.”

It had been a year now, hadn’t it? Since they started the band. He’d heard from Lavi, of course, that Allen wanted to write his own songs as well, but for some reason, never actually got the band to work on it. So wasn’t it about time now?

“It’s not easy for ‘im, you know.”

“Writing lyrics?”

“No. Showing what’s in his heart.” Lavi let out a smile that, while seemingly lighthearted, Kanda knew he was being serious right now, even as he was wiping his hand on the mud-green apron he was wearing. Kanda wondered why Stupid Rabbit couldn’t just grab a towel. “Because that’s where his lyrics come from, right?”

Kanda wanted to argue that wasn’t it like that for most songwriters? Of course he also knew inspiration could come from anywhere, but a lot of musicians poured their hearts out into their songs, so what was the problem with Allen doing just that?

“You know why,” Lavi said cryptically, as if he just read Kanda’s mind. Then again, Lavi was creepy like that. Like he could tell what was on your mind just by looking at you. He was just so good at acting like a goofball that most people believed that was all he was.

It was kind of annoying, really. “No, I don’t,” Kanda replied defiantly. “Unlike you I can’t read people’s minds.”

“Aww, Yuu, whatcha take me for? I ain’t no psychic!” Lavi let out a good natured laugh, which Kanda simply snorted at. “Seriously, though. Didn’t you used to always tell him? That his smile was annoying.”

 _Oh_ , realization dawned as Kanda finally caught up on what Lavi was referring to.

Right. His _mask_. The Bean Sprout was so used to always wearing it that he probably didn’t know how to show his feelings, even if it was through _lyrics,_ which were probably going to be cryptic at best.

“See? That’s why I said give him some time.” Lavi let out a grin before grabbing a cloth and started wiping the counter. “He’ll get around to it. I know he also wants to work on his own song.”

Kanda grunted in response and slowly sipping what was left of his coffee. Just then, the door to the shop opened and another customer walked in. He absently watched Lavi take the patron’s order while finishing his cup, then finally got off the stool when he was done—except Lavi stopped him.

“Wait, Yuu, you’re forgetting this!” Lavi placed a familiar moss green tumbler in front of him. Oh, right. This was why he dropped by at Lavi’s in the first place. “For Al.”

Kanda eyed the unassuming bottle in mild distaste but took it anyway. “I can smell the excessive syrup. You’re gonna give him diabetes.”

“No worries, you just have excessive aversion to sweets!” Lavi laughed playfully. “You heard ‘im the other day, he missed the caramel latte, so be good and bring that to him, yeah? Tell Allen I’ll be there at three!”

With a massive roll of his eyes and a last wave, Kanda finally took his leave.

 

 

He arrived at Allen’s house some odd fifteen minutes later. After parking his car at the sideroad, Kanda trekked across the front yard to the entrance of the basement. He turned the key and the door easily unlocked, then creaked open softly to a set of stairs leading down into the basement. There was no music playing as he stepped further down, but as he got closer to the bottom, there was definitely the sound of breathing.

Huh. Bean Sprout was asleep on the couch.

The first thing Kanda noticed was the notebook on the coffee table, and he couldn’t help but be curious. The book looked like it had been written in countless times, and the papers were a bit wrinkled. He carefully placed the tumbler containing Allen’s caramel latte on the table and took the notebook instead. Now he could see some pages were dogeared, so Kanda turned to one and—

Immediately, he understood what he was seeing.

Songs. Draft lyrics and music scores. Scraps of melodies that were incomplete or striked with tiny footnotes. Kanda flipped a few more pages to see if he recognized anything and—there he found it. In one of the dog-eared pages was a riff he was somewhat familiar with. The next page had draft music scores along with the lyrics written underneath the notes, and Kanda slowly read them word by word.

He tried to hum the lyrics following the melody, just to get the sense of how it actually sounded. Then, he tried to remember how Allen was playing his guitar during their practice, matching it with the melody of the lyrics and—okay. Maybe this Little Bean needed a bit more persuasion to actually let them work on this song.

Kanda glanced at the sleeping boy from the arm of the couch he had settled on, then reached down to knock at his head lightly. “Liar,” he murmured softly. "You already had the lyrics after all.”

 

 

Allen woke up to the sound of accoustic guitar and someone singing softly. It took him perhaps a bit too long to compute—whose voice that was, and who was playing—

 

_Send me to sleep_

_With your gentle lullaby_

_Of wishes and prayers_

_But they turn to ashes_

 

He jumped to a sitting position so fast his head spun, but—did he hear it right? Was that _his song_ —

The singing and guitar melody came to a halt, and when Allen finally turned his head enough to see—there was Kanda, sitting on a stool with one of Allen’s guitars on his lap and the notebook propped up on a stand in front of him.

“Oh. You’re up.” Kanda spared him a side glance, then nodded to the coffee table. “There’s some caramel latte from Lavi.”

Allen briefly looked at the tumbler on the table, but honestly some coffee was the last on his mind right now. He could feel his cheeks heating up real fast, because, “Wha—how—that song—”

“Tch, calm down.” Kanda placed the guitar back on its stand and stood up, walking closer to Allen and dropping himself beside the confused boy on the couch. “I wanted to know how it sounded with the actual lyrics and see if we need to adjust the music.”

No words came out as Allen stared at Kanda a little dumbfounded. Instead, he took a deep breath and ducked his head, feeling warmth spreading over his cheeks when he finally murmured, “Isn’t—that. Weird?”

“What is?”

“The song. The—uhm. Lyrics.”

When Kanda didn’t immediately answer, Allen slowly lifted his face and turned to Kanda—only to find him watching Allen like he was trying to solve a mystery—

“It’s fitting,” Kanda finally replied, and for some reason, it made something in his chest flutter. Especially when Kanda added, “What are you so worried about anyway? It’s your song. Isn’t it fine to have your feelings in it?”

Allen pressed his lips together in a thin line as he fiddled with his fingers. “It’s—I don’t know. I just feel like showing my weakness to the world. It’s—”

Scary. Disgusting, maybe. _Weak_.

“Are you an idiot?”

“Wha--”

“There’s nothing weak about pouring your feelings into a song. Doesn’t it take courage and actual creativity to even create something like a song?”

Kanda was now looking at him like—Allen wasn’t sure like what but it was the same gaze Kanda had always been looking at him with. Seeing those lyrics didn’t make him look at Allen any differently, and somehow that was a comforting thought.

_And his words…_

Slowly, a soft chuckle escaped Allen’s lips. He could already see Kanda frowning, but before Kanda could even ask what he was laughing about, Allen beat him to it: “I didn’t know you were capable of comforting words.”

Now, Kanda’s frown definitely deepened. “What the hell are you on about, are you making fun of me?”

“I’m not.” Allen let out a wide, boyish grin. “Thanks, though. I get what you’re trying to say.”

“Good to know your skull isn’t so thick that I’d have to beat it into you.”

Allen rolled his eyes heavenwards. “Must you always be so violent?”

“If I have to.” Kanda shrugged lightly. “So? Can we _finally_ work on that song? Now that we have the lyrics, we can work on sharpening the atmosphere. I’d say go for more instrumental since the lyrics are sparse.”

“Yeah, I was thinking that.” Allen smiled and stretched his arms upwards. “Wanna try what we can add to the music while we wait for Lavi?”

“Heh.” Kanda pushed himself off the couch and smirked at him. “I was already trying to do that while you were snoring, Bean Sprout.”

“It’s _Allen_!”

As he followed Kanda to the practice area where they placed the instruments, Allen once again thought that having Kanda in the band was a good thing after all. He wasn’t as understanding and patient as Lavi. Not to mention Kanda was also unexpectedly pushy about things, but.

Maybe it was the kind of push that he needed to finally work on an original.

 

 

“You know, I was thinking…” Allen started when they were taking a break after practicing the new song a couple of times. “Would it be okay to change the music a bit?”

Kanda paused from drinking his third bottled water and Lavi peered at him behind the drum set.

“I’ve been feeling like something’s missing… so I was wondering if I could replace the guitar riff with piano. But I’m not sure if it’d be good.”

At this, Kanda put down his water bottle then leaned back on the oneseater he was currently occupying. “Well, try it,” he tilted his head in the direction of the upright piano sitting across the couch.

Well, _then_. Allen took a deep breath then pushed himself up and made his way to the piano. He slowly sat down on the bench and after testing a few keys, started playing.

Almost immediately, Allen could feel the different atmosphere when playing the riff with piano compared to when he’d played with guitar. It definitely sounded more melancholic, especially when he actually sang out the lyrics. Would this song be too emotional after all? Maybe he needed to adjust the tempo?

 

_The ground under my feet is crumbling_

_The world I’ve always known is fading_

_My reality is turning upside down_

_Before my eyes, your smile is gone_

 

Okay, he could probably tweak the progression and add some notes here and there to make it sound less emo.

 

_Send me to sleep_

_With your gentle lullaby_

_Of wishes and prayers_

_Before they turn to ashes_

 

He was so absorbed in his song that he didn’t notice the stares Kanda and Lavi were giving him. Instead, Allen went on until he was satisfied with the sound he produced, ending the song with a softer version of the riff he started it with. Then, he took a deep breath and when he finally turned back around to face Kanda and Lavi—

They were watching him so closely Allen felt kind of self-conscious. “Uhm… Something like that... is it weird, after all?” he ducked his head, because _damn_ now he was actually nervous. What if they didn’t like it? Maybe he should have stuck to guitar for the riff and lead melody. He did tend to get experimental, and he only got away with it so far because they were covering existing or popular songs to keep him from going all over the place when tweaking with arrangement, but.

“You just came up with that?” Kanda’s question broke his train of thought and Allen just nodded in response. “Hmmm… well that was certainly different than when it was on guitar but—how do you imagine the music would be with that piano?”

“Well, you see… I was thinking with the way you play bass, we can have you play more notes in the pre-chorus to create a walking bass line. I’ll still have the guitar, but it’ll be more of a backing to set the rhythm, and then for Lavi…”

“Can I mess with the time signature a bit?” Lavi asked, grinning almost enthusiastically.

Allen smiled back. “Yeah, I was going to ask you that. I know you like to play around with irregular beats. For this song, since the atmosphere is generally melancholic, I think it might help to make it more dynamic.”

“Gotcha! I was actually thinking that when hearing you play just now.”

“Well… that’s a start,” Kanda commented as he walked back to where his bass was and started testing out a few notes. “Now we can try figure out the tempo and progression you want to use and work from there.”

“Good idea. There’s something I want to try.” Lavi added with a grin and—well, okay. Maybe Allen shouldn’t have been worried so much about working on his original song together with the band.

So Allen smiled and with renewed spirit, said, “Let’s aim to perfect this song before summer break ends.”

A song of his own—of _theirs_. With Lavi’s playful beats and Kanda’s solid, dynamic bass, Allen felt like together, they could bring this song to life.

 

 

**-to be continued-**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually don't know that much about music. I did some research to write this chapter, but I'm sorry if there's anything weird or wrong on the musical aspect. :')
> 
> That said, I'm happy to say that I have a clearer direction on where this story will be going, and I don't think it will end in 3 chapters. Maybe there will be around 7 chapters. XD
> 
> Please do let me know what you think about this story! It will definitely keep me inspired and motivated. 
> 
> Meanwhile I'll be updating The Walk next, so please look forward to that too. :)

**Author's Note:**

> Kindly let me know your thoughts about this AU, please? :')


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